Take a trip to the DMZ

Everybody comes to Korea with a list of things they want to do, see and accomplish as long as their arm. Taking in Asia seems to crop up on most of them, along with learning the language, taking up Taekwondo and, of course, saving money. But anybody with of a passing interest in history (or a slight penchant for voyeurism) is guaranteed to make a trip to the Demilitarized Zone that separates North and South. That it featured so highly on my own list is slightly worrying, but I’m happy to have checked it off and in the process of doing so, I had one of the most sobering, surreal experiences of my life.

There are various trips to choose from, each with their own selling points and packages. I was sold on Adventure Korea’s promise to take me off the beaten track. Rolling through the deserted countryside beyond the civilian control point that precedes the DMZ, I felt reassured that they had kept their side of the bargain, but a slight unease at the eeriness of the surroundings.

The once bustling metropolis of Cheorwan has long since been reduced to a ghost town. Stray machinery peppers the endless rows of rice paddies, conceivably abandoned at the outbreak of war, but more probably by the farmers who must leave the zone before their curfew. It amounts to a whole lot of suspense before we reach the first point of the tour, the Second Tunnel.

One hundred and forty five metres deep and 3.5 kilometres long, the tunnel was intercepted 1.1 kilometres in to South Korean territory in 1975 and had the power to transport 16,000 soldiers an hour under the border. The figure beggars belief. I have to crouch as I make my way down to its base, wondering how long it would’ve taken to carve this into the rock. The guide reveals, to gasps of astonishment, that there is an estimated twenty other tunnels like this yet to be unearthed, but that despite the recent decline in relations, they don’t anticipate an invasion. His words emphasize just how volatile the Korean situation is.

The centerpiece of the tour is a visit to the Cheorwan Observation Centre, situated a mere stone’s throw from the DMZ, with a bird’s eye view of North Korea. Of course, there is scant opportunity to see what life is actually like in the most secluded country on earth, but the little we can see is equal parts fascinating and shocking. On the South Korean side, the farmland is lush, the vegetation rich; a reflection of an age of prosperity. It’s in marked contrast with what we see on the other side.

On the entry point to North Korea, the thriving nature reserve that has been created by default in the DMZ comes to an abrupt halt. Everything living has been flattened, lest it provide camouflage for anyone attempting to escape across the border. There is a North Korean army base visible, looming disturbingly large on a hilltop. The smoke of a fire evidently lit by there soldiers rose towards the sky. Since I’ve been in Korea (actually, since long before it), I have wondered about the North and the peninsula’s situation. Being within such proximity was surreal and if truth be told, thrilling.

Traveling to the DMZ was a worthwhile experience: interesting and enlightening… and, yes, fun. However, it would be advisable to keep your expectations in check. You will not see anything you’re not supposed to, so be realistic… if you manage to do so, you’ll be in for a real treat.

Written for Say Kimchi News

Korean Grand Prix Appraisal

After all the build-up, all the excitement, all the naysaying and all the expectation, the Korean Grand Prix has been and went. Formula 1 has left Yeongam for another year and as the dust begin to settle, it’s becoming a bit clearer what conclusions we can draw from the occasion.

The first thing is the race itself. Rain caused huge problems. The track had blatantly not been tested enough in such conditions and caused difficulties with large amounts of spray coming from the cars, leading to long delays as the track dried up. It also resulted in the first 17 laps being raced behind a pace car and the race being completed amidst a darkening sky and poor visibility. The winner went to the Spanish driver Fernando Alonso, who leapfrogged Mark Webber (who retired early) into first position. But yes, it was exciting. The conditions made for a very unpredictable Grand Prix that is being hailed in the Western media as a “classic”.

The build-up had been mostly negative, with worries over the completion of the track and lack of facilities being to the fore. It was easy to see why at Yeongam on Sunday. The track was finished, but nothing else seemed fit for public consumption. The surrounding area was a building site. Mountains of rubble, piles of scaffolding and huge potholes greeted attendees as they caught an unfortunate first glimpse of Korean hospitality. It was a real shame that they couldn’t get their act together sooner and make the splendid venue the occasion deserved as it offers a tainted view of a country that really is a great place to live.

There was very little race information available at Yeongam. Nor was there anything to eat or drink. We managed to find one Family Mart, in a venue built to host 120,000 people. It’s a ridiculous statement. If they really wish to turn the Korea International Circuit into the “Las Vegas of Asia”, they have a long way to go. Perhaps focusing on the basics and learning to walk before they can run might be a good start, but there were plenty of hungry revelers bussing back to Mokpo, Gwangju and further afield after the race. On a related note, the transport links between the cities were abysmal too. There were shuttle buses leaving from Gwangju every hour in the build up to the race, but only one. One bus from the nearest big city is nothing short of a disgrace.

There were, however, some positives to report. The attendance was much larger than anticipated. Some forecasts had expected less than half the tickets to sell out, however from where we were sat, it looked like there were many more. People were in good spirits and the rain, which could have potentially dampen them, didn’t seem to have much effect at all. The race is finished now and after a while, that’s all people will remember. The Korean Grand Prix has a contract to continue in the area for seven years. This presents a huge opportunity for KAVO and the local and central governments to invest heavily in the infrastructure and transport links that have been universally slated. If they do so, then the Korean people will have a venue and an event to add to all of the other facets of their culture they are deeply proud of.

Written for Gwangju Blog

Korea's grand prix stutters to the start

Written for Asia Times

GWANGJU - On the eve of the first Korean Grand Prix, organizers will be hoping the exhilaration of a five-way Formula 1 championship battle wrestles the spotlight from what has been a shambolic buildup.

Concerns over the readiness of the track, poor ticket sales, lack of local interest and the reluctance of local sponsors to support the event have all overshadowed the race, which was only rubber-stamped last week.

Organizers Korean Auto Valley Operation (KAVO) have admitted they have "not been well prepared" for the event, but there is some confusion as to why, particularly considering the country'shistory of hosting premier sporting events.

Despite publicly paying lip-service to the solidity of Korea's event, F1 chief executive officer Bernie Ecclestone waited until October 12 to officially give it the green light, amid rumors that circuits in Europe were being readied to step in. The grand prix will now, it seems, go ahead, but a nervous weekend awaits both KAVO and the sport's governing body, the Federation Internationale de l'Automobile (FIA).

Ostensibly, the main worry has been the huge delay in completing the Korean International Circuit, located in Yeongam the southwest of the country. Designed by Herman Tilke, it is considered to be one of the most extensive and high-tech racing complexes ever built. Along with the accepted difficulties that come with undertaking such a huge project, workers had to contend with an abnormally long monsoon season, including Typhoon Kompasu, which hit the peninsula in September.

While the weather has certainly caused havoc on the region (it is also being blamed for the current "kimchi crisis") it is doubtful that this alone could lead to the holdups. Yet it is the only concrete excuse being offered.

One alternative theory being proposed is that an attitudinal conflict exists between how Koreans engage in large-scale projects and how the West would prefer to see them completed. There's a prevalent mantra in Korea, particularly among the older and controlling generation, stating: "If we do it, it will work." It's an approach that has seen them through hosting global events in the past, but not without cost.

Case in point: the Seoul Summer Olympic Games, 1988. A leading Canadian peace-time disaster planner, who worked in conjunction with the Korean government from 1985-87, admits being "appalled by the construction practices used to throw up the Olympic venues". Despite being impressed by the speed with which the Koreans completed the venues, he warned that the poor planning processes and the general attitude of senior staff resulted in "inferior products, buildings and institutions".

On paper, it's certainly not a methodology that's compatible with an increasingly safety-conscious FIA; nor is it in keeping with the prestigious image projected. The world is a much smaller place now than 22 years ago and the microscope's focus is all the finer. While the Seoul Olympics are remembered fondly, Korea won't escape lightly where Formula 1 is involved. Success in this one field, Asia Times Online's source suggests, may prove elusive unless they start looking outward and embracing a more globally accepted approach.

The location of the grand prix itself has also been a bone of contention. Yeongam is a small county, some 400 kilometers from Seoul. Its province, Jeollonamdo, is the "breadbasket of Korea", reliant on agriculture and with relatively little other industry. Construction in such a rural area brings its own logistical problems. The immediate vicinity can only accommodate 38,000. With a race capacity of 120,000, a huge percentage will need to find lodgings in nearby Mokpo or Gwangju. If the plan is to build a city around the venue rather than vice versa, then it has yet to begin materializing.

There can be no arguing, however, with the potential an annual grand prix has to invigorate Jeollonamdo, also the country's poorest province. The deal signed with the FIA is for seven years, with the option to extend for an additional five. If all goes according to plan this weekend, KAVO and President Lee Myeong-bak's government will have a chance to ready the infrastructure for 2011. Whether the latter will commit more fully having assessed the benefits of the first grand prix remains to be seen, with local people currently seething at what's been perceived as "another snub for Jeollonamdo".

An agreement to stage a grand prix in the area was first reached between KAVO, the local government and Ecclestone in 2006. Anton Scholz, founder of Korea-Consult and a key figure in the development of the race, has spoken of how it took the central government another three years to formally agree to financially support part of it. Scholz says he "even had to hold a speech in Korean senate in Seoul" and describes how at one point, he "gave a personal presentation to President Lee Myeong-bak", before the Korea Grand Prix was acknowledged as having special significance to the country.

This alleged lack of support has only served to widen the schism between Seoul and the southwest. Moon Ho-sung, a student of Chonnam University in Gwangju, said: "Busan has many factories and Seoul has all the companies. Here we only have farmers. We are simply not valuable to the government. If Formula 1 was coming to one of the more glamorous parts of Korea, Lee Myeong-bak would have supported it straight away."

Should Pyeongchang, in the north of the country, be successful in their bid to host the 2018 Summer Olympic Games, it is envisaged that funding be released at once, as was the case with the football World Cup in 2002. It would create a situation comparable to the one criticized in the United Kingdom press this week by Ecclestone. He accused the British government of "wasting a fortune on the Olympics which will come and go, and be forgotten in a few weeks, when they could have supported Silverstone and made sure the British Grand Prix is there forever".

Seoul has also failed to provide significant public relations for the occasion. The grand prix has flown under the radar across the country and even locally, interest is low. There has been speculation all week as to how many tickets have been sold, with some sources estimating as little as half. Motor sport doesn't have the foothold here that it does in many other parts of the world, despite South Korea being the fifth-largest producer of automobiles in the world. The provincial streets are devoid of "petrol-heads", with mopeds being the vehicle of choice for young motorists.

Park Myeung-seop, a teacher from the outskirts of Gwangju, said there is no interest, simply because "Koreans find Formula One boring". Park also condemned ticket prices, saying: "They are much too expensive for normal people in the area. If they wanted to make it an occasion for the Korean people, they should have made the prices lower. Otherwise, it is not something the people can enjoy."

The prices dwarf even those at the established British Grand Prix at Silverstone. A three-day pass at Yeongam will cost you more than US$1,000, while the British equivalent will set you back just north of $600. While high ticket prices are certainly a deterrent, one wonders how different things would be if there was a Korean car or driver lining up on the grid?

The nation has taken to a wider interest sports in recent years with the success of figure skater Kim Yun-ah and swimmer Park Tae-hwan. The next circuits to debut, India (2011) and Russia (2014) are likely to have local competitors for the partisan crowd to roar on in the shape of the Force India team and Renault's Russian driver Vitaly Petrov. Whilst neither nation has a glorious history in Formula 1, a local interest is a reliable way to boost the sport's profile.

The country's largest car manufacturer Hyundai (also comprising Kia) has as good as ruled out entering a team in the championship and have also surprisingly not taken out any sponsorship on the event, saying that their "utmost priority is to boost brand image in Europe". It's a bizarre turn of events, and one that has left LG as the sole local sponsor, with some of the teams carrying out promotional activity in the region themselves. Subsequently, the profile of the event has remained relatively low, with most of the press in the run up to the event being negative.

The Korean Grand Prix isn't the first to experience teething problems. In this year's Turkish Grand Prix, organizers had to cover the grandstands with tarpaulin to disguise the fact that there was nobody there. The Abu Dhabi and Bahrain Grand Prix have also experienced low turnouts, but they have the excuse of small populations and have the funds of oil-rich patrons at their disposal. Many fans have pointed at Ecclestone, accusing him of chasing the money, ignoring true followers of the sport and spreading the F1 brand globally, but only in the geographical sense of the word.

For Korea, all will not be lost if KAVO and the government treat this year's disastrous run-up as a steep learning curve. The promise of at least another six grand prix could reap dividend, should the glaring deficiencies be addressed and in that respect, the rhetoric from KAVO's camp is positive. Kang Hyo-seok, director of the province's F1 Support stated: “We don't expect early returns, as this project needs long-term investment to turn this area into a regional leisure and tourism hub”.

A study into Formula 1 in Australia by Flinders University, Adelaide, estimated a profit of A$1 billion (US$944 million) could be recouped over 10 years. Alongside direct economic impact, there is huge benefit to be gained from employment, tourism and infrastructure. But if the Korean Grand Prix is to have realistic designs on success, organizers need to be sure they can steer, before they put the foot down.

Finbarr Bermingham is an independent journalist from Northern Ireland, living and working in Gwangju, South Korea.

Feed The Boats @ Speakeasy Bar

Written for The Gwangju News

Hearing of a live rock band playing in Gwangju is a bit like seeing an oasis on the horizon after months of traipsing thirstily over scorched desert plains. Sure, the internet allows anybody with a modicum of know-how to keep up to date with whatever tickled their eardrums at home, but any active music fan begins to crave the sweat and grime of a ramshackle gig before long.

And so it was, on the weekend of Gwangju World Music Festival, that Speakeasy paid host to one of the most omnipotent bands in town, Feed The Boats. And the gods were seemingly on their side. With the weather ensuring the Festival was a washout, the boats were duly fed. Patrons streamed through the door in the shape of a one-fingered salute, directed at Festival organizers, who had chosen to overlook Speakeasy when selecting after-party venues for the event. Did somebody say karma?

In some respects, Feed The Boats couldn’t really fail tonight. A bunch of pie-eyed, gig-starved westerners are hardly the most difficult crowd to please, but credit where it’s due: they put on a good show. Their set list was well chosen: a mixture of crowd pleasers and what seemed to be personal favourites. The crowd, well oiled after a warm up set from Deserts, responded well to each number; dancing, singing along and hurling compliments toward the stage. The lead singer has an excellent voice: guttural and grungy, a refreshing take on Courtney Love or Brody Dalle. And so, it was no surprise when they launched into a rollicking Distillers number.

Likewise, their take on Mod classic A Town Called Malice is pleasing, but not wholly unanticipated, given the poker-faced Englishman in tow. Feed The Boats’ style is a well-worn brand of bar-rock; toying with alternative and EMO, before settling somewhere in the middle. The original numbers they play are greeted warmly, but it’s their versions of a couple of classics that will endure. The schism between The Crystals and The Replacements could never be overstated, so congratulations to Feed The Boats for going some way to bridge the gap, with an enjoyable rendition of And Then I Kissed Her and the Minneapolis outfit’s Bastards of Young, delivered in the only way it should be: loud, fast and rickety.

No, Feed The Boats won’t win any awards for originality, but they should be commended for providing what was certainly the most entertaining option on a Saturday night in Gwangju.

Video: The Replacements - Bastards of Young

DMZ Travel Piece for Irish News

Woobang Tower Jump, Daegu

Written for the Say Kimchi News

I’ve always been a bit of a coward, yet paradoxically, always been pretty keen on scaring the crap out of myself. I think I forget the first part until right before I’m about to do the second. Last week I had a couple of days off work, so I decided I’d go to Daegu to jump off a building. Daegu is Korea’s third city (if, like many, you consider Incheon to be part of Seoul) and home to Woobang Tower, the tallest tower in Asia. They’ve built an amusement park around it, WoobangTower Land, which seems similar in scale to Gwangju’s own Family Land: pretty small, but not bad for an afternoon if you’re at a loose end.

Woobang Tower is 202m high (312m in altitude) and is similar in structure to the CN Tower in Toronto, formerly the world’s tallest free-standing structure (553m) and one of the Seven Modern Wonders of the World. At the top of Woobang Tower is a revolving restaurant. There’s a 360° observation deck which gives you stunning, panoramic views of the city below which, incidentally, is huge. Coming from a small Irish town, Gwangju seemed sprawling to me (especially from the top of Mudeung Mountain), but Daegu is a massive step up in terms of scale. From the top of Woobang Tower, you really get an idea of how big it is.

We set off from Gwangju early in the morning and arrived around lunchtime. There were three of us, two jumpers and a photographer, and we met another friend in Daegu who jumped with us. We were all excited; laughing and joking without giving a moment’s consideration to what we were about to do. That was until the Tower became visible in the distance on the taxi ride to Woobang Land. It dominates the horizon. The closer we got, the taller it seemed and when we were within a few hundred metres of it, we saw a little gangway protruding from near the top. This was where we would fall from.

Feeling a little sheepish (and not a little sick) we made our way around the perimeter of the park until we reached the foot of the Tower. We paid (for three people, it was 100,000W, very reasonable) and got on the elevator for the 76^th floor. The laughing stopped. Suddenly, it wasn’t funny anymore. Looking at each other for some sort of comfort was futile; the others were either praying or holding their hands over their faces. Yikes. There was a teenage girl ahead of us in the queue so we could see exactly what we had let ourselves in for and as she shimmied closer to the edge of the “plank”, white as a ghost, I felt nothing but sympathy!

The jump itself is not a bungee, which I initially thought, but a sky-jump. It’s like base jumping, except you have a cable attached to your back. Kitted out in the finest race suits this size of Talladega Nights, we decided on which order we would jump in (I was second) and then waited. As with most adrenaline-based activities, this is by far the worst part. Every sort of eventuality runs through your head until eventually, you’ve thought of all of the worst things that can happen and an accepting calm descends over you; at least for a minute. When my turn came I was led out to walk the plank. They strapped a harness onto me and explained a few things to me about what was going to happen. The problem is, I don’t speak Korean. I just smiled and nodded, such has become my custom in this fine nation.

I stood at the edge of the gangway for about a minute, getting properly strapped in. Then, I leaned forward, looking at the ground beneath me... it seemed like miles away! The attendant told me to let go and just like that, I was in suspended animation, 132 metres above a sprawling Korean metropolis. Hanging there, horizontally, was one of the most surreal experiences I’ve had. I was trying to squeeze out a smile, as the Korean guy is taking pictures of me (as part of the package, you get some photos and a certificate). And after what seemed like minutes (maximum hang time: 30 seconds), I was falling. This part is not frightening. You drop at a leisurely speed to a target at the bottom, where you’re released from your harness and left to ponder your “achievement”. Breathless and a little befuddled, I was greeted at the bottom by my friends. What a rush! For only 33,000W, the Woobang Tower Sky Jump is highly recommended.

Korean Grand Prix Preview

Written for the Gwangju News

On Sunday October 24^th of this year, a cacophonous drone emanating from a stretch of tarmac in Yeongam, just south of Gwangju, will chauffer in a new era in Korean spectator sport. The country will join an elite band of 18 others in paying host to a Formula One Grand Prix. It is testament to Korea’s growing presence on the international stage that they have convinced F1’s governing body of their capability to host such a high profile event. Some speculate that it may bring even greater rewards to the nation than the 2002 World Cup. Should that be the case, Korean sport is in for a serious boost.

The inaugural South Korean Grand Prix will attract a crowd of around 130,000 to the newly built Korea International Circuit and officials have been scrambling to find ways to accommodate the masses due to descend on South Jeolla. Car parks are under construction, hundreds of shuttle buses are to be laid on. This sleepy, rural community is about to get a whole lot louder, but a few days of autumnal madness will undoubtedly bode well for the region’s finances.

F1 has long since been tagged as a rich man’s sport, filled with charmers and playboys like Flavio Briatore ( former Benetton and Renault head honcho, former beau of Heidi Klum and larger than life impresario, now banned from the sport because of his part in the Crashgate scandal in 2008) and Eddie Irvine (straight talking and flamboyant Irishman, former Ferrari driver and once a squeeze of Pamela Anderson). Ticket prices are often condemned for being astronomical, unaffordable by locals in many venues. The South Korean Grand Prix will do well to avoid such criticism. The cheapest come in at around 165,000 Won. For the best seats, you can expect to pay upwards of 1.2 million. The locals may have to be content with a thunderous hum, rattling their windows. But the money invested in the area through tourism will more than make up for the racket.

Unsurprisingly considering it’s the world’s fifth largest producer of cars, this is not the first time Korea has attempted to host a GP. The government previously attempted to capitalize on the industry’s standing when they reached an agreement to host an event in 1998, although a lack of funding hindered the construction of a circuit. Malaysia won the race to host another F1 event in Asia and the blogosphere’s rumor mill is rife with allegations that F1 CEO Bernie Eccleston managed to keep the money originally paid to him by race promoters. Indeed, the 2010 race has not come to fruition without a few hitches, either. There were whispers right up until the beginning of the summer that it would not go ahead. Initially, doubts were harbored over whether the course would be ready in time. Promoters, Korea Auto Valley Operation (KAVO), however, were at pains to dispel such fears, announcing that the track would open on September 5^th. Perhaps of more serious concern to the survival of the race has been the recent unrest between North and South Korea. Political uncertainties on the Peninsula sparked rumors that the GP would be moved to a venue in Europe, with Magny Cours (France) and Motorland Aragon (Spain) mooted as potential replacements. But with the checkered flag looming ever nearer, it would seem the organizers have avoided such measures and that the event will go ahead as planned.

The deal the Korean committee has struck with the governing body will see the country host a Grand Prix every year for the next seven, with an option to extend the deal for another five. The course itself has been compared with another Spanish track, that of Valencia. Designed by Herman Tilke (the brains behind circuits in Abu Dhabi, Malaysia, Bahrain, Singapore, China and many other venues), it’s the second longest track on the calendar, trailing only Monza in Italy at 5.6 km per lap. Along with Turkey and Brazil, it’s the only track whose racing direction is counter-clockwise. The estimated average speed for an F1 car around the course is 212km/h, with a maximum speed of 320km/h, meaning the quickest cars should be getting around in about 1.5 minutes.

And with the race being number seventeen of nineteen, you can be sure that there won’t be any drivers holding back. After winning the Hungarian GP in Red Bull’s Mark Webber (Australia) is hoping to seal his first ever championship crown. He leads 2008’s champion Lewis Hamilton (McLaren, UK) by just four points, with his teammate Sebastian Vettel (Germany) trailing by a further six. The party travels to Belgium, Italy, Singapore and Japan before making its maiden voyage to Korea in October. The Japanese have traditionally put on a spectacular show and their Korean counterparts would no doubt be delighted to emulate them. All eyes will be on Yeongam on the weekend of the 22^nd to see if they can do exactly that.

Boryeong Mud Festival: Not all it's cracked up to be

July was a busy month. It was always going to be. My girlfriend visited me and stayed the duration. Naturally, we wanted to make the most of it. I had spent May and June tossing ideas around, deliberating how to squeeze the absolute best from our weekends. My working schedule (3pm – 10pm) meant we couldn’t do much travelling during the week. That said, we still got plenty done. The life of an ESL teacher (particularly one employed in a hagwon) is a nocturnal existence. I must’ve had twenty suggestions or ideas about things to do on our four weekends together, but throughout that time, there was only one constant: Boryeong Mud Festival.

It’s been called “Asia’s Number One Festival”, and not just by the press releases. Every sinner we spoke to eulogized it. Nobody, it seemed had a bad word to say about it. Until now. July, especially the early part of the month, is monsoon season in Korea. It rains, heavily. It’s clammy and sticky, but not very sunny. We weren’t surprised to arise on the Saturday on which we were making our way north to Daecheon (the city where Boryeong beach is) to overcast skies. We weren’t even disappointed as the heavens opened above our train carriage. We were in excellent spirits, our whistles whetted by a couple of early morning beers en route.

But as soon as we touched down at the festival itself, we felt a tingle of discomfort. The atmosphere was one of anticipation, but not in a good way, more anxiety. As we made our way to the changing areas, people were jostling past, being unfriendly and rude. Skipping ahead in queues (and not just the ajumas – older ladies in Korea that seem to have rite of passage through even the busiest terminals) and generally throwing daggers from one end of the place to another. We got some food. There was a lot of hustle and bustle – nothing new in Korea – but a little more sinister.

This was not what I’ve come to expect from the country. Looking around me, it was pretty clear why: there were no Koreans there. The crowd was comprised of ESL teachers and GIs on vacation from one of the numerous bases scattered around the country. “What the hell…” we thought, tucking into a bottle of soju. "Everything will be alright when we get a roll in the mud.So we finished our food and soju and headed for the entrance. We were greeted by one of the poorest set ups at a festival I’ve ever seen.

What was billed as a Mud Festival was really just a load of people getting drunk on the beach. There was an area of mud-based activities; slides; baths; wrestling areas, but you had to queue for a long time to get near any of them. One person told me she’d been queuing for over an hour to go down ONE mud slide and they closed it when she got to the front of the line. No explanation, no justification, just rudeness and mismanagement. We attached our disgruntled bodies to the back of a seemingly never-ending line of mud-hungry westerners. After about 30 minutes, we had had enough and bailed (luckily, on our way back to the beach, we came across a small mud bath and went for a dip. This was to be our only mud-based experience at Boryeong Mud Festival 2010).

The rest of the day we spent swimming in the sea and drinking on the shore… not a bad way to spend a Saturday afternoon, granted, but it was to a backdrop of GI aggression. Later that evening, we went into town to eat. We found ourselves a Korean tour guide who led us to a shellfish restaurant, ate his share of food and promptly scarpered before picking up his share of the tab. The owner continued to try ripping us off. We refused; one of my friends got his Korean girlfriend on the line, which put the willies up the owner: we were onto him. We watched some fireworks and returned to the beach, where we figured we’d spend the night drinking beer, singing songs and having fun. Predictably, it wasn’t to be.

After a late night skinny-dipping session, we fell asleep on the beach, awaking to find our bags gone. The next morning we found them a few hundred yards away, with the stuff strewn all over the beach. My Sony mp3 player was gone, as was my friend’s mobile phone… a fitting end to a pretty disastrous trip. Since I came to Korea the people have been honest, cordial and hospitable. These three sentiments went out the window at Boryeong Mud Festival. I don’t want to come across as a naysayer, because the internet is full of people blogging negatively about Korea.

I am not.

I love it here, which is why the festival was such a shock. To be robbed in Korea is virtually unheard of. Most people I’ve spoken to seem pretty sure it was a westerner that did it and I have to agree. It’s commonplace at home, but that doesn’t excuse it. The entire atmosphere at Boryeong was wrong. In future, I’ll be careful to avoid gatherings like this. I didn’t come 6,000 miles to experience the shoddier traits of the western world. This weekend was isolated and I hope to keep it that way.

I am finding it difficult...

...to motivate myself to maintain this blog. I have had a great few months, but I really need to get the wheels turning over the next while. I hope to make my time in Korea work FOR my career, as well as have a great experience and save some money. I hope to get published more widely. I hope to get involved in the local English speaking radio station.

Hopefully there's more to come. In the meantime, here's a photo of me riding a scooter on an island in the Yellow Sea: Seon-yu Do. You may or may not read more about that trip sometime soon.

World Cup 2010 - A Round Up

Written for The Three Wise Monkeys

After four years of hyperbole and anticipation, the World Cup is almost over. Few months on the calendar command so much effort from the media and our livers. And if you support Korea or an English speaking nation, few reap so little reward. Maybe it’s because I’m Irish (neither North nor South qualified), or maybe it’s because the quality of the football on show has been so piss poor, but the previous sentiment rings particularly true for 2010’s edition. This has been the most tedious World Cup in living memory. Granted, it has improved slightly as it’s gone on, but at the beginning, it was less like pulling teeth, more like having your legs ripped off by a giant, vengeful spider.

From Italia 90, I remember the evergreen Roger Milla (whose passport was reported to have flattered him to the tune of ten years) pickpocketing the Argentine goalkeeper to send the reigning champions reeling in the first game. USA 94 evokes memories of Bebeto’s ‘baby cradle’ goal celebration for the champions elect Brazil (not to mention an abysmal penalty effort from Diana Ross in an opening ceremony, dripping with cheese). From France 98, Zinedine Zidane’s stellar performances, claiming a first title for the hosts whilst simultaneously announcing himself as the greatest player of his generation, stick out in the mind. Four years later, the over-performance of South Korea as well as Roy Keane’s infamous ‘toys from his pram’ routine will take some forgetting. 2006’s edition in Germany produced one of the greatest passing goals of all time, when Esteban Cambiasso put the finishing touches to a glorious lesson in fluidity that began 24 passes previously. Zidane also took the opportunity to remind us that his temper is almost as great as his talent, delivering a charge at Marco Materazzi in the final that wouldn’t have looked out of place on a goat farm (it’s worth noting that since Zidane’s retirement, France have failed to win a single game at an international tournament).

But this year has been bereft of quality and yet to produce any truly memorable moments. It says a lot when the main talking points have been the cacophonic drone of the vuvuzela and the failure of some of the “top” sides to even show up. This is the lowest scoring World Cup to date. There have been less red cards than four years ago and whilst aggression doesn’t always equal entertainment, I would happily trade some of the snore-fests we’ve had to endure for something even slightly resembling passion . Many will argue that France shouldn’t even have been at the finals, after the Hand of Gaul incident that sent the Irish crashing out last November and there’s little doubting Ireland would have put on a better show. As it is, a nation not famed for its temperament bickered their way through the tournament, limping out after finishing bottom of a group they were clear favorites to win. French Squad captain Thierry Henry has since met with Nicolas Sarkozy to find out what just went wrong. I imagine the pair are still huddled together, scratching their heads in a dimly lit corner of the Élysée Palace, trying to get to the bottom of things. Forgive me, but my Schadenfreude must be allowed to come up for breath occasionally.

The reigning champions Italy, meanwhile, also faced an inglorious exit. A group containing Paraguay, Slovakia and New Zealand was the easiest on paper and their showing was as much an indictment of Marcello Lippi’s refusal to waver from his triumphant squad of 2006 as it was the Azzuri’s much vaunted, yet universally loathed cattenaccio. A flaccid England side hobbled through to the second round, to be resolutely dispatched by an unfamiliar, flowing German outfit that will meet the impressive Argentines in the Quarter Final. The English media were quick to jump on the back of Fabio Capello: a coach who has won titles in every country he’s worked. In the aftermath of the 4-1 mauling, one clueless pundit was even brazen enough to suggest that not one of the German players would make the England team, which, he opined is “littered with world class players”.

Bullshit.

Whilst Capello did look a trifle clueless tactically (particularly in his replacement of Jermaine Defoe with the lumbering Emile Heskey when the team needed goals) and he fell under the curse of fitting square pegs in round holes that has plagued his predecessors, this “Golden Generation” has underachieved at international level for years. Like the French and the Italians, it’s time for a new approach. Perhaps this dismal showing has provided the kick up the arse required.

Pre-tournament favorites Spain were slow out of the traps, losing to Switzerland and struggling against Chile, but new Barcelona signing David Villa looks to be hitting top gear at just the right time. Worryingly for coach Vicente Del Bosque though, is the form of Fernando Torres. Villa’s strike partner has looked sluggish and off the pace, prompting speculation that he’s carrying an injury. There is more than capable backup on the bench, but the Spaniards’ progression may depend on whether Del Bosque is ruthless enough to sacrifice El Nino.

So, who has impressed? Well the Dutch have cruised through looking more like Germans, and vice versa. The pair will do well to displace the South American duo of Brazil and Argentina, though. 1994’s winning captain Dunga has built a team in his own image: tenacious, efficient and unspectacular. Of course, it is augmented with the flair of Kaka and Robinho, but this is a decidedly un-Brazilian team. The Argentines have (along with the Germans), been the most striking side so far.

Relying, as ever, on tippy-tappy, one touch football, with the genius of Lionel Messi primed to unlock any defence in the competition, they have sailed through to the Quarter Finals. But what makes them infinitely more likeable is the presence of footballing genius and all round mad bastard Diego Maradona at the helm. His last appearance at a World Cup was cut short by his failing a drug test. What odds a triumphant return? Well, having struggled through qualifying and insisting on playing four central defenders at the back, it would seem his tactical nous from the sideline doesn’t compete with his brilliance on the field; but a run to the final is certainly feasible.

Of the less glamorous sides, Paraguay have the joint honor of being responsible for the most boring ninety minutes of my life as they edged the Japanese on penalties in Round 2. I will never get that time back. Uruguay (completing an unprecedented quartet of South American countries in the Quarters), face an athletic Ghanaian side bidding to become the first African nation to reach a World Cup semi final. They may never have a better chance.

SHUT THE FUCK UP

And as for the Koreans? Well, they performed admirably: a side with few superstars, well-drilled and playing to their strengths. As demonstrated against Argentina in the Group Stage, when up against competent fire power, they have little answer. The adage also rang true against Uruguay in Round 2. Alas, for half a World Cup, I had a team to cheer for, which added a well needed element of spice. Now that they’re gone, I can go back to bitching about vuvuzelas and bemoaning the benign punditry on every channel I stream. And I can’t say I’ll miss the “Fighting Korea” adverts, either.

Here’s raising a well worn glass to the prospect of some decent entertainment. C’mon, it’s not too late.

The Korean Penunsula Takes On The World

World Cup preview piece written for The Impartial Reporter

At some point in the wee hours of November 19^th last year, my anger diffused. The nation, nay, the world had been outraged by the ‘Hand of Gaul’ incident that sent Ireland crashing from the World Cup Play Off. Calls for Henry’s head on a plate reverberated around the land. But in a moment of rare clarity, I decided that it wasn’t so bad after all. After all, come the time of the World Cup, I would be settling into my new home 6,000 miles away, in South Korea. And for the first time in history, both North and South sides of the peninsula have qualified. “This,” I thought to myself, “is not bad at all.”

Koreans, like many of their East Asian counterparts, don’t do things in half measures. They’re an emotional, patriotic and jingoistic nation on all fronts. Just as the current political and military showdown with North Korea has understandably awakened a fervent nationalism, the very mention of a World Cup is likely to send a Korean into raptures. There are discerning football fans in South Korea. Some are as devoted as those born on Old Trafford’s doorstep. And so, they when asked on their team’s chances in the tournament, they’ll consider it for a while and offer an intelligent opinion. Spain, Brazil and England are the usual suspects.

But for many, the opportunity to look no further than their own noses is too great. “Han-googo! Han-googo!” (“Korea! Korea!”) You see, baseball is king here. Kia Tigers, my local team, are dominant. My local professional football team is Gwangju Sangmu, the army team. They aren’t very good (eleven soldiers, employing a distasteful long ball approach is little match for the top dogs of Seoul) and so interest in football all year round is minimal. Last month I went to see a K League game in the Guus Hiddink World Cup Stadium, twenty minutes from my apartment. As the name suggests, it was constructed for the 2002 World Cup here and paid host to the Quarter Final between South Korea and Spain, which the home side won on penalties. But the game (a drab 1-0 home victory) was abject at best. The 44,000-seater stadium paid host to fewer than 2,000 and the whole thing had an anti-climactic feel to it and the stadium has the unwanted glow of a white elephant.

Accordingly, most peoples’ views on the beautiful game are a trifle warped. Park Ji Sung is the best player in the world. Bolton Wanderers star Lee Chung Yong isn’t far behind him. Unfortunately for them, it simply isn’t true. A Korean team is highly unlikely to lift the 2010 World Cup; North or South. North Korea is the most mysterious nation to have lined up at this, or any edition of FIFA’s top blue riband showpiece. Reports on their warm-up games have suggest that they will compete with an ultra-defensive mentality, in an attempt to stifle the opposition. By all accounts, they are a better side than expected. They will hope to frustrate, but a quick glance at their draw for the group stages suggests that’s about all they can hope for. Their draw of Portugal, Ivory Coast and Brazil is the toughest of the lot.

South Korea, on the other hand, has a little more cause for optimism. They reached the semi final stage in 2002 (albeit with some dubious and hotly contested referring decisions). They have got players, in the aforementioned Park and Lee, as well as 2002 hero Ahn Jung Hwan (formerly Perugia, Metz and Duisburg) and Park Chu Young (Monaco), with genuine European experience. The draw too has been kinder to them, pitting them against Nigeria, Greece and Argentina; second place is all to play for. A victory in the backyard of bitter rivals Japan in the run up to the tournament only heightened World Cup fever. A couple of wins in the tournament would see things reach boiling point.

But after the tournament, things will more than likely return to normal. Any Western game featuring a Korean will be big news, but most other football will play second fiddle to baseball. The profile of the game here has certainly risen since 2002, but perhaps not to the level the local FA and FIFA would have hoped. Despite this, the government has launched an ambitious bid to host the 2022 event on their own. There’s no doubting that they have the infrastructure in place. 2002’s tournament was spread thinly over eleven cities here, each with brand new stadiums; and that was only as a co-host! With worries over South Africa’s readiness for this year’s Cup and Brazil’s capability to network the vast country for 2014’s, FIFA could do a lot worse than to look once more to the Hermit Kingdom. It boasts the fastest train system in the world and is easily navigable. Perhaps it would finally give the game the final push it needs to become top dog.

For the moment, though, the focus is on the here and now. If, after the miserable failure of Northern and Republic of Ireland, you’re looking for a late horse to back, look no further than the Korean duo. You never know, you might be surprised!

We're not in Kansas anymore: Notes from the Korean Peninsula

"I shall make that trip. I shall go to Korea."

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Okay, so I came here under slightly different circumstances, but the past week has been one of the most wonderfully bizarre of my life. I even had to read the title of this post again. I did make this trip: last Friday, I flew from Heathrow airport, via Dubai, arriving in Incheon Airport just outside Seoul at 10pm. A four hour bus journey later and I was in the city that will act as my home for the coming year, Gwangju.

You can try to prepare yourself for something like this. I read a lot of literature, books and online articles. I thought I had a decent grasp of Korean culture and its people before I left. I was wrong and I am truly delighted I am. So far, this country has been overwhelming in every respect: the food, the friendliness of the people, the weather, the LIGHTS! The journey from the airport, driving the length of the country's coastline was my first eye-opener. It was the wee hours of a Sunday morning, yet the place was lit up like a Christmas tree... everywhere. Even the crosses on top of the churches are in neon.

Next day, I went exploring, taking in the sounds, smells and sounds of an alien culture: struggling to grasp the reality... this isn't a holiday. I live and work here for twelve months. It took a while for this to sink in. In fact, I still don't think it fully has. There's a real normality about my days that makes the experience utterly surreal. One minute I'm in my apartment eating cereal, listening to We Were Promised Jetpacks, the next, I step out my door into an Oriental street market.

Yesterday, I woke up early to watch the Election 2010 online. I slipped into a Dimbleby induced comfort zone. The next thing, the onion cart rolls by (the onion vendor who drives around the streets at silly o'clock selling his wares, complete with a loud speaker fixed on top of his pickup, playing pre-recorded advertising-yell in Korean. It's a bit creepy, actually. Slightly Orwellian). My thoughts turned to Mogwai: "Yes! I am a long way from home."

My days are structured (get up, go to work, go for dinner, yadda yadda), which I think adds to the surrealism. Coupled with crippling jetlag (four hours sleep a night: max. And I thought it made you sleepy?), the first week has been a struggle, but I've enjoyed it nonetheless. This year will be an amazing experience. There are people at home I will miss. They know who they are, but I have to make the most of it.

I'm having a tough time deciding what to do with this blog. There isn't much by the way of live music in Gwangju (although I will take every attempt to see what I can. Actually, I am going to see a band called Angry Bear tonight, update to come later), so I guess it has morphed into something of a travel journal. An online account of one ginger man's attempt to get to grips with a culture as alien to him as any in the world. I will also keep the blog updated with published work (I will be writing for a number of Korean publications and probably some at home).

But now, if you'll excuse me, it's 20+ degrees outside. The sun is shining, and I've got a mountain climb.

Video - Mogwai: Yes I Am A Long Way From Home